Remnants Nightmare
by BeautifulAlice
Summary: John tells the group what he'd hallucinated, after their next off-world sleep together makes him have a nightmare. Tag to "Remnants". No slash. Rated T for mention of torture. Basically what you guys saw in the episode, though John explains to his team what he saw.


**"Remnants Nightmare"**

_**Alice**_

Summary: John tells the group what he'd hallucinated, after their next off-world sleep together makes him have a nightmare. _Tag to "Remnants". No slash. Rated T for mention of torture._

Additional Notes:

-Post "Remnants".

-Mentions of torture/graphic violence/nightmares...pretty much what you guys saw in the episode, Remnants.

* * *

"John…_Sheppard_-wake up!" Someone shook him awake as he yelled out, and he jerked awake with wide, staring eyes before realizing…

It had been a dream.

A nightmare.

Gasping, he settled back against the wall, breathing hard and feeling relief hit him hard. His hand wasn't gone, Kolya wasn't alive…he was safe, with his team. His team, who was currently staring at him with worry.

"John…what was your dream?" Teyla asked gently, taking in the hand that-coincidentally-Kolya had chopped off.

"Remember that creature that caused us to hallucinate?" John asked, his throat raspy. Rodney gave him water, and he gulped it down gratefully. "I hallucinated Kolya."

The team's reactions was utterly predictable.

Rodney paled. Teyla looked stunned and horrified, and Ronon looked suddenly furious at the mere mention of the man's name. John clenched Teyla's hand and then released it.

"I'd hallucinated…Kolya had sabotaged the jumper that I had flown the two scientists in. Then he killed the two scientists, and took me prisoner. Hit me in the face for a couple hours, trying to get my IDC. He wanted it because he was going to have his men repair the jumper, fly it to the city, and bomb Atlantis." John took a breath. "Midway through the torture, when I still wouldn't give him the IDC code, he untied me."

"I do not like where this is going," Rodney muttered, and John quirked an almost smile. Rodney had unconsciously voiced his own thoughts during that time.

"Kolya chopped off my hand," John said in a shuddering breath. Ronon bit back a curse in Satedan, and that made John blink. Teyla blinked, tears suddenly filling her eyes, and Rodney looked very much as though he were about to be severely ill.

"Is that all he did?" Teyla asked softly, sounding truly heartbroken.

"He tried to get the Genii soldiers to get me to the jumper so that I could help them fix it, but I managed to take them by surprise. I had managed to toss two over the cliff, before I fell off. I thought I still didn't have a hand, and wasn't going to make it…but the thing chose to reveal itself then, saying that it had gone on long enough."

"We shouldn't have let them go," Ronon growled. "The bloody thing tortured you!"

"It said that I had tortured myself," John said quietly. "That I punished myself every day for all that I didn't do-for all the people I couldn't save."

There was dead silence, except for the sounds of the tiny crickets-if they were crickets-calling in the woods. A breeze stirred the trees, and the fire that Ronon had thrown together upon John's nightmare was cackling merrily.

"Kolya is dead, John." Teyla said suddenly, making him start. "Kolya is dead and he can no longer cause any more pain and suffering on your people, or my people. He will never come near you again."

John took a breath.

"I know that on the surface, but…there's still a bunch of angry Genii out there, Teyla. I killed _sixty_ of their people in the space of a minute, during my first year at Atlantis." John said roughly. "They'll want payback."

"You did it protecting your home and the ones you love," Ronon said flatly, giving him a stern look. "My father used to say that for someone to have to kill it means going to extra mile, but making sure that the job got done where it mattered. You had no choice. You did exactly the right thing, no matter what anyone says about it."

It was one of the longest speeches that John had heard Ronon say, and it actually made him feel a little better. Rodney was shaking slightly, and he said in a numb tone,

"If I hadn't figured out that device…"

"Rodney," John said alarmed. "Don't-it's not your fault, it's not."

"But…" Rodney sighed. "I suppose your right, but…if I hadn't…" He shook his head. "Kolya…he's still a pain in the ass even after he's been killed."

John snorted.

"Funny…you're echoing me when I was talking to Kolya," John said with a grin. Rodney rolled his eyes.

"Of course I am," He snarked, looking uncertain as he did so.

"Thank you for telling us," Teyla said softly to him, and John blinked. "You did not have to."

John swallowed.

"I didn't have too…but I needed too," He whispered. His team sat beside him, and he sat in front of the fire, staring into the coils and embers that sparked prettily. The fire was almost blue than it was orange, and it was so pretty. He slowly fell back asleep, feeling safe and comforted with his team at his back.

_END._


End file.
